Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have girlfriend? Have you thought to?”

Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have girlfriend? Have you thought to?”

A few, obviously bored stiff from their minds, stare intently at their smart phones in a Seoul coffee shop. The little talk, if you have any, is painful to eavesdrop on. Despite their matching clothing, ubiquitous few bands, and obligatory selfies together, they appear to have small in typical. So just why the frequency of these pairings that are awkward the coffee shops of Seoul?

“You don’t have a gf? Why don’t you?” is most likely the absolute most question that is common guys have expected in Southern Korea. Dating is an endeavour that is fairly straightforward there’s absolutely no explanation not to ever take action, as my South Korean housemate constantly reminds me personally. Dating Г  la corГ©enne was paid down to checking items off an inventory, after a textbook of do’s and don’ts. We provide you with the lowdown:

The Introduction

The way that is easiest to fulfill females is by your buddy: he can expose you to some body he knows and create a sogaeting — a pre-arranged date. Instead, you need to use a sogaeting software. When both both you and your prospective gf have actually agreed on a night out together, make sure to dress to wow. Then head to Gangnam. Italian restaurants or VIPS will be the standard fare for times. If you should be uncertain on how to speak to your date, don’t worry and just prepare some topics beforehand: internet sites with guides and video lessons abound.

The Meetup

Whom foots the balance? Why you, needless to say. Her duties are restricted to spending money on after-dinner coffee, but only when the date goes well and also you go to Round Two. Also my gallant housemate admits to hating the obligatory dinner purchase but seems he “has no choice”. The‘after-message’ to confirm interest is vital after the date ends and you have arrived back home. See right right here for well-documented methods that are successful. But don’t forget that timing is vital and that the message should really be delivered within half an hour to an hour or so following the end associated with the date to make sure optimal success!

The Confession

Now if things are getting efficiently and also you have an interest in her own, be sure to formalise the offer by having a love ‘confession’. It doesn’t matter how long you have got invested together, aside from that which you have inked together, things aren’t settled you are ‘official’ until you set in stone the two of. Tell her “i love youu bluntly” or ask, “Do you want to get constant?” If she hesitates to respond to, just return to “The Introduction” part of the article and start around again. Until your confession of real love is accepted by some body, it really is permissible to see one or more girl at the same time. Its referred to as eojang gwalli — ‘managing your seafood stock’.

But if she accepts your heartfelt plea, you have got simply entered as a relationship also it’s time and energy to get severe.


Success! You now have gf, a marker of or both. But this is simply not the finish. It’s now time for you to purchase matching shoes, few bands, exchange hourly texts, make use of ‘selfie-stick’, head to areas, browse coffee shops, search for pet cafés. In a nutshell, the number of choices are endless.


Needless to say, thoughts is broken ‘going steady’, the cinema is essential. Markets have also popped up to boost and diversify the ability, with premium couple-seats being offered. Benefit from the connection with staring blankly at a display for just two hours, peppered every now and then with gruesome scenes that automatically hand-clutching that is prompt which gives her the reassurance that oppa is here now.


As the days slip by, you have to commemorate some time together: 1 week, 30 days, 100 days… Such milestones confirm the healthier status of couplehood and produce a feeling of success.

100th time current to gf. Guidance please

^^“Please can somebody advise me personally about what to supply my gf for the 100th time

We shall reach our 100 times week that is together next however with just a few times to spare, I’m just starting to concern yourself with what things to offer her .ㅜ.ㅡ Letters and plants would be the norm, however, if there’s other things besides that I’d appreciate some advice. just What do other dudes often give to their 100th time?? Because of the way, she’s 24”. Supply: Daum tip forum


Ideally prior to later, you will opt to be intimate. Don’t stress though. That’s all looked after besides. Love motels provide a sex that is all-inclusive, maybe maybe not least the welcome pack containing condoms, lube, and desensitizing cream for those who are extremely eager. Without doubt, the savvy couple will know which sites and apps to utilize for discount rates.

The Fact

My housemate is appropriate. With all you need to easily do conveniently and presented for your needs, here really is not any reason to not date. (Love, nonetheless, is optional.) The pity to be branded a motaesollo — “a loner since conception” — is after all most readily Kliknutím se dozvíte více useful prevented and just how easier to do that than by getting into a relationship? However in many instances, the things I see is a costly ritualised performance of courtship: a prescribed group of inevitable activities marching toward the ultimate objective — wedding.

But until then, dating is anticipated if a person really wants to avoid fees of impotence, deviance, or homosexuality. In reality, some gay South Korean friends turn to putting on a ‘couple ring’ at the office to imagine these are generally straight plus in a relationship, because they should really be. It really works like a dream, i’m told.

I often have the South Korean scene that is dating like a Petri meal: a synthetic environment containing all the right nutritional elements to advertise the fast cultivation of partners. Valentine’s Day, White Day, Pepero Day, the 100-day anniversary… All are grotesque reminders of exactly just how relationship in Southern Korea happens to be commodified relating to some ideal of Western middle-class romance, and repackaged in to a kitschy must-have product.

When it comes to couple that is hopeless the cafe, they’re both ‘in need’ of a relationship — and status and normalcy it confers. So they really date one another away from convenience, expectation, and maybe — within the best-case scenario — a way of measuring love. But irrespective, in the middle of such extreme pressures to conform to societal ‘norms’ and perform set roles, they turn society’s desires within their desires, and additionally they continue steadily to agree with the consumerism of relationship.

Raphael Rashid authored this informative article.

For lots more on dating tradition in Southern Korea, read:

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